Film Snob : Before Trilogy

If there’s any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something.
— Before Sunrise (1995)
I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people with whom you’ll connect with. And later in life, you realize it only happens a few times.
— Before Sunset (2004)

This series did a hell of a job romanticizing the Eurorail summer—the liminal space between youth and everything that comes after. It’s been top of mind since seeing a TikTok last week of three euro-trash girlies making what they charmingly called floor salad: shredded iceberg, mayonnaise, and plastic sporks, with nothing separating them from the hostel carpet but a trash bag cut to size.

We don’t talk enough about how Céline is the original Brandy Melville girl, and Jesse is the boy I hoped to meet downtown Denver in an all night diner after a poetry reading at Mutiny Information Café. Instead, I found the real-life version at the top of a ski resort, leaving money on the table I’d scrub down during a lunch rush. For that Ethan, thank you—for contributing to the cause.

Me: stoned to the bone, shoulder-tapping billionaires for Marlboros on Mondays, because my high school thought it was wise idea to give us a four-day work week. I had a lot of time to kill.

I’d also like to thank this series for being a visual cue on the top deck of a big bus tour in Paris leading me to Shakespeare & Company, my first trip to Paris wouldn’t have been the same without. Finding Anais Nïn was a treat considering sourcing physical copies of erotic smut is virtually impossible anywhere else.

The first time I saw Before Midnight, I was disappointed. Not because it wasn’t good—but because it felt very American. American with modern Hollywood commercialism stripped away—emotionally tidy. Closure where I wanted cliffhangers. Like a fairytale happy ending without the alimony. Still, I admire the trilogy’s insistence on honesty. These two find each other, lose each other, fuck each other through every justified hang-up, and decide to do it all again the next day. I want to believe that these types of endings work both in life and on film. Receiving closure wasn’t the ending I was expecting after watching tense arguments through locked doors. If that’s middle age, sign me up.

A Missed Connection:

When I was 21, on an Amtrak train from San Francisco to Hanford, a man brave enough to wake me up to hand me snacks from the dining car. He told me to let him know if I wanted anything else. Don’t let my scorned state and missed connection color your viewing experience—but sometimes I think about what could have happened if I’d stayed awake.

Maybe I’d be summering in Mykonos with the love of my life, the one I met on a train in my twenties, on the way to my grandmother’s house. Instead, I ate the best snack of my life, fell back asleep, and never saw him again.

I hope he’s doing well. Still sexy. Still generous to the needy. He probably has a wife. I often imagine them in a beautiful house in Southern California with a two-car garage, a movie room, and a saltwater pool.

And honestly—bless her heart.

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