Pursuing Purity in My Waiting Season

Faith
Written By Haley Ameral
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
— Romans 12:2-4 (NIV)

Being a believer in Christ as a child was easy. It was fun to have Jesus as a friend and to learn all about him. One of my favorite childhood memories is hopping on my bike alongside my little brother; going as fast as we could, and trekking across the neighborhood to Wednesday night children’s bible study. At the time this felt like the ultimate quest to an insurmountable distance, worth every suburban block I might add, just to spend some time with our friend Jesus. Sometime in my teenage years and early adulthood I lost that wonder and excitement.

I was never a “victim” of purity culture. Waiting for marriage was always my goal. Despite never following through with a purity vow, ring, and strong intention- I always wanted to make a public declaration to GOD before marriage. I also remember sitting in the pews of church at age ten watching teenage girls announce their purity vow during Sunday service. As the years went on I watched those same girls become women and trickle back to church from university. The girl I remember most returned unmarried and pregnant and in hindsight (unknowingly I might add) I internalized her worthiness amongst the congregation despite falling short of her initial pursuit. Looking back on the years that followed, if there is anything I would tell my younger self it would be to stay close to Jesus. So much pain, anguish, and trauma I’ve experienced in my life occurred in my teen years. Much of the curiosity and temptation I faced could have been prevented by standing firm in my faith. My personal testimony is something I’ll likely to share at a later time, but I can say that sexual sin has very real consequences. God’s promise for young women is to prosper us and not harm us and he has plans to give us hope and a future.

In my early twenties I used to joke that my walk with GOD was more like a drunken stupor. In the last year I’ve had sobering revelations of his goodness. In the midst of this- being a follower and disciple of Christ is hard. He orders my steps, and sometimes it makes perfect sense and I’m filling up my gas tank and driving 2,000 miles across the country, or taking a series of city buses and high speed rail and walking two miles two times a day through three feet of snow to make it to a job that only pays $12.00 an hour. When I decided to leave that job for a better opportunity, I remember how hurt I was when the owner mocked my attendance record (in particular my tardiness), and threw stones attached to warnings about my future that felt like threats. Even then I confidently declared, “I go where GOD tells me to.” Other times, with seemingly less consequential matters it doesn’t make sense at all. Especially in moments of grief. Trying to understand how everything is working out for his goodness when terrible and truly awful things have occurred has been difficult. Even more difficult is forgiving people who have hurt me deeply.

Matthew 18: 21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

In seeking and asking for my own forgiveness, and pleading for understanding in midst of deep suffering, I have learned that his aim was always to perfect my love, and to see the world through his eyes. After rededicating myself to my faith, there were several areas of my life I started to feel strong conviction in. Some examples of my personal convictions have been: not practicing yoga, smoking cigarettes, not listening to secular music for extended periods of time, not drinking Starbucks, removing my gel nails and not going to my regular nail salon, being careful of the casual company I keep, and finally sexual sin. In aligning myself with the One True Living God, my biggest desire as of late has been to present myself as a living sacrifice.

To be honest, sometimes I don’t feel worthy of his grace and compassion and have to remind myself that my transgressions have been thrown into the sea of forgetfulness. The enemy likes to remind us of our sins and of our past. Being vigilant with eyes set on the King is vital. While meditating on this thought I was reminded of one of the most beautiful testimonies I heard almost 10 years ago at my home church CrossRoads in Aspen, Colorado. A young woman expressed a similar sentiment in front of our congregation and described how she felt out of place until she realized that Jesus not only invites us to his home and gives us a seat at his table, we are more than guests, he wants us to go into the kitchen and open the fridge and open up every drawer. That’s the relationship he wants with us. Everyday I want to make the conscious decision to consider God in every area of my life. Within that relationship; invite the Holy Spirit to dwell in my house, my heart, and my mind in that same way granting Jesus true Lordship over all of those areas.

“Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.”
— Proverbs 4:23
 

Books I recommend reading:

Sex and the City Uncovered: Exposing the Emptiness and Healing the Hurt, by Marian Jordan

Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldredge

Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry: Why Women Lose When They Give In, by Lisa Bevere

To His Bride, by Eric Gilmour

And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity, by Dannah Gresh

The Purity Principle, by Randy Alcorn

 

“Unveiling our beauty is our greatest expression of hope. We hope that it will matter, that our beauty really does make a difference. We hope there is a greater and higher beauty really does make a difference. We hope there is a greater and higher Beauty, hope we are reflecting that Beauty, and hope it will triumph. Our hope is that all is well because of Jesus and that all will be well because of him. So we unveil beauty in hope. And finally, we unveil beauty in the hope that Jesus is growing our beauty. Yes, we are not yet what we long to be. But we are underway. Restoration has begun. To offer beauty now is an expression of hope that it will be completed.” -Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldredge

 

When starting to write this blog post I realized it may take several months of careful prayer and dedication before presenting this topic publicly. My initial introduction included comparing a recent experience I had in my dating life to the Sex and the City television program. After scouring the internet I finally found, Sex and the City Uncovered: Exposing the Emptiness and Healing the Hurt, and was relieved that I could scrap my initial draft altogether as someone had already written about it, (beautifully I might add). Marian Jordan’s writing is approachable in two ways. The first being; many millennials and zillenials (like myself) have in someway been influenced or at least privy to the cultural zeitgeist of Sex and the City, so posing the desires of a woman’s heart in light of our modern dating culture is so perfectly relatable. The second, is the discipleship expressed in the pages of this book is like a gentle nudge from a girlfriend inviting you to church. I can imagine that a young woman picking this book up perhaps at a sorority book club and didn’t have a relationship with Jesus already, she’d want to know more. This book is a page turner and I really enjoyed the discussion guide questions included in the afterword as well for deeper self inquiry and meditation on God’s word. Sex and the City Uncovered: Exposing the Emptiness and Healing the Hurt; is an excellent entry point into the topic of purity, and I highly recommend it to all young adult women seeking to live their life aligned with God’s principles.

 

“Adam wasn’t created for Eve. Eve was created for Adam. She is his missing rib. As a woman you don’t need to go in search for love or to keep a roster. The man meant for you will pursue you like it’s his calling because you were literally made for him. You are his missing piece.”

 
 
“Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.”
— 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NLT)
Haley Ameral
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